I’m certain you’ve heard the information: a Fb smartwatch is on the best way. And you understand how this makes me really feel? Completely unbelievable.
There are few issues I’d like greater than for the corporate to trace my each single motion and entry a raft of well being knowledge — and what higher approach of doing that’s there than a Fb smartwatch?
However… I’ve a dilemma.
Ideally, I’d like to present Fb extra of my private knowledge than a easy wrist-bound wearable can ship. There’s just one answer: ZuckTech. And plenty of it.
Fortunately for you and Fb, I’m simply the person to create it. Let’s get pondering.
A Fb thermometer
The Fb smartwatch may have my coronary heart charge and motion knowledge, but it surely more than likely gained’t have entry to extra intimate particulars of my physique.
So how about Zuckerberg releases a Fb thermometer? That’s a suppository? That additionally takes blood? And can’t be eliminated with out surgical help? That’s some high quality ZuckTech proper there.
The Fb dice
Now now we have a Fb smartwatch and in-body thermometer, the subsequent step is obvious: THE FACEBOOK CUBE.
We’ve seen the corporate try to department into client tech earlier than with the Portal and its buy of Oculus, however, merely, this gained’t do. Consider all of the individuals on the market utilizing telephones, tablets, and computer systems that Zuckerberg doesn’t have entry to. It makes me sick.
That’s why I’d prefer to introduce you to the Fb dice.
Image it: a deep, black field lined with screens and cameras and microphones. Is it a telephone? A pill? A pc? A projector? A speaker? Pals, it’s all of this and extra.
Additionally it’s powered by your coronary heart so must be bodily hooked up to you and in the event you take it off you’re most likely going to bleed out.
A Fb full physique go well with
Think about, if you’ll, a go well with that covers your total physique. It types a layer over your pores and skin, protecting each orifice and coating every sense.
It sees what you see, hears what you hear, smells what you odor. Sounds nice, proper? Nicely it will get even higher: the Fb go well with will hoover up all that knowledge so it may well serve you the most good and personalised adverts you’ve ever seen!
Consider the utopia that will be! Fb knowledge would by no means once more be used towards your data to rig elections. It wouldn’t must pay $20 to entry all of your telephone knowledge or learn all of your messages with out permission.
And you may make certain Fb wouldn’t make statuses public, or expose consumer periods, or let web sites learn customers’ likes and pursuits! No approach! It could’t be a privateness violation if the corporate now owns your privateness!
Pals, a Fb smartwatch is simply the beginning, merely a curtain twitch from the sweaty peeper’s home. I’ve proven you simply how rather more potential there’s on the market.
At the very least I can take coronary heart within the data that every one this ZuckTech will make sure that your private and personal knowledge is strictly the place it must be: on Fb’s servers and accessible to whoever’s prepared to pay for it.
Simply as nature meant.
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